My drive has been lost and I currently wake up everyday just because. I feel no desire in all the endless thoughts roaming in my head.
In the fairness of it all, I didn't forget to write a year ender, it’s just that I haven’t got the right energy to slip it into my time and i’d rather sleep or be a bum rather than type in words of memories.
I always say this: what a year. The past year has been nothing but a change of emotions. If 2020 was confusion, 2021 a downhill, 2022 could be recovery, and 2023 would definitely be the roller coaster. It was rising then most of the time falling. All the bad things stabilized, my flexible self learned to adapt instead of walking away. And again I always say this: at the least of it all, I am learning.
Learning to adapt with change, to pull through in the worst of times, to get out of my comfort zone, to balance all ‘my’ important things (and relationships), to view and value family time, to do things I haven't done before, to try and explore new routines, and re-learning how to open myself up again with my walls up high.
It was not all bad, I just had to regroup myself and reflect on how I should always be thankful and trust that my time will always come at the right moment.
So yes, i’m still here. I don’t have that fire anymore but this will always have a space in me, both heart and head. But hey, I look forward to having new sparks again, whether it be from the simplest of getting myself a new keyboard so I could fuel myself into writing this or as big as in the form of a person creating a chapter in my life.
This is my year ender, and probably a welcome to new beginnings.