How did you spend your valentines day??
As for me, it's just a plain tuesday. No. I am not bitter for I admit that in my 17 years of existence no one had ever dared or tried to give me flowers. Or a box of chocolate. Or handmade cards. Not even a surprise of something sweet from someone. I should be sad. Or should I??
During valentines day, Love is expressed outwardly. We see couples pass by holding each others hands, girls whose hands are full of surprised gifts and sweet boxes, a pile of people eyeing for a guy whose standing in the middle of the canteen serenading her all time crush asking her if she could be his girl. This is the usual valentines. Most likely the annual stuffs that we could see.
Flowers were overflowed outside the school gate. And me? trying to catch a glimpse on it daydreaming that someone might surprised me, something like that. I just hate myself when I do that dreaming notions of having someone beside me.. no not just someone, a special someone from the opposite gender.
I want someone to give me flowers too, not only on a valentines day but in every single moment that that someone wanted to surprise me - monthsaries, birthday, or even as a simple reward for passing a test. I want someone who'll give me lots of sweets that I can stuff into my mouth not only during valentines day but also in every time that I am craving for it or in simple days where he just feels like doing it. Am I that desperate enough?? No. No. Call me indenial but yeah, I am not desperate to go into a relationship. I am just inlove with the thought of falling inlove.
I believe that there will be a time that God will let me meet him personally, or if I do know him right now, a time wherein we exchange good conversations that could lead into something.
My thoughts can kill my habits sometimes. It makes me do and feel such things that I shouldn't feel. And the worst part is, it came into a habit that it produces images of daydreams in awkward places and unappropriate situations. This kind of thoughts should only be driven inside the bathroom or maybe right now while typing this not so good topic post.
So yeah, back on my 2012 vday.. My plain tuesday went so crazy and all as I spent it with my somewhat brothers and sisters: my dormates and my bestest college friends. We cooked pasta and exchange stories up until midnight. This goes to show that valentines day shouldn't just be spent with 'someone' it should be spent with those who can make you feel loved and cared.. with those people whom you are happy being with.
For the thought of being single isn't bad and lonely. Sometimes, my committed friends used to tell me that being in a relationship isn't just about all the cheesy stuff; it's a total commitment to someone you trust. Love is not the only answer. It's not about having someone to text you every morning just to greet you and make you eat your breakfast which you can do also while you are single. Yes, there are many perks included if you happen to have a boyfriend but that so called perks can be even greater when you are alone.. no rules, no hindrances, just you. Having someone isn't just there to say that you are beautiful in every single thing you do. And I think it's more than that stuffs. And as what my mind tells me.. I'm not ready for some serious commitment thingy. I am still not that into it.
So if you're like me and hadn't got something this valentines day.. let's just think of it the other way around. There will be more years to spend.. more valentines day to face.. and we never know where this road could lead us, only our lovely God knows. <3
For the love of having someone to love or even someone to hug this season (and because this thoughts keep raging inside my head) let's face it with a smile. Valentines day is just a one day season.. it'll pass. There's no law that says that valentines were only for people inlove, right? :p
My blanket and pillows already asked me to be their february date, no, a whole year date.. and I just said yes, who wouldn't? :p
So as for me and my schizophrenia, this is how I explained my 14th. And in whatever way you did spend and expressed yours, cheers!
Happy Feb-ibig month! :)