Today was a blur.
Change.
Morning: my dormate/friend/neighbor/everything (hehe) and I played badminton. At last! After a long time, planning and re-scheduling, we did it today. Well, we smashed and served shuttlecocks for atleast 40 mins and the rest were spent talking and laughing on things.
Afternoon: Instead of internet spying, I fell asleep on the couch while watching TV. AND I WATCHED TV!!(:p) It was the nicest and smoothest siesta I had ever experience, perhaps. I ate lunch. Which is unusual also because my usual meals were breakfast and dinner or either lunch or dinner but very rare to have breakfast + lunch + dinner altogether in a day. Since, I was trying to lose some weight by having only half rice (which I am happy I survived) and now fooling myself trying to have only bread (happy that I had survived a day full of breadsss. Remember: a day, well ATLEAST :)), I feel like cheating on my pledges while eating leftovers during lunch earlier. So, hindi ko inubos. Sorry.
Mid: My father texted me, asking if I was at school (okay?) so I told him that it was sembreak already. And I finally find the courage to ask him permissions during a scheduled gala with some friends including a friends' debut. I was very very very happy because after so many questions, he agreed. I felt it. Even though he didn't actually said his powerful "yes", his words were there. On the edge. So I am happy.
Night: While having dinner, we were discussing the same things. And when they made you feel like they agreed and everything is alright was just YEHEY and HOORAY.
But...
When they picked me up from tomorrow's show rehearsal, I asked nanay again in the car. And to my surprise, she said, "NO".
I feel like I've been cheated. I gave so many reasons and one of those was.. "Minsan lang naman ako aalis ng bahay para gumala, payagan niyo na ko." (which is true because this was the only sembreak na aalis ako para alam mo na). But that won't work. Masaya na hindi mula mall hanggang bahay ang discussion, but you know.. it's sad.
All half-day long you knew that you were allowed to go, expecting.. thinking what to wear.. and with just one word all of it fell down. Sad. We are forever like this. We are.
Another thing was, I feel like I've been losing a friend. I don't know. I know to myself that I didn't do anything wrong.. But I'm not the only who feels the same. I really don't know. All we know is that we are trying to reach her in every possible way we can but she didn't want to answer. Sad. It's sad. Hindi ko siya makausap, men. Sad. It's sad. Really sad.
How can things change in just a blur? Weird as it is, but I think that's life. "Oh, alam mo naman pala sagot e." I just can't help but to think. Weird that in just a snap everything can change.
Oh, life. :|
P.S.:
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| A photo from tumblr. |