It has always been there. It has. But I think this is the only time I had felt it or maybe I had understand that this is "it". These transition from things were the toughest yet the most memorable one.
This year, I had cut everything short from 2 major changes:
- From college to being unemployed and all of its in between
This has been the toughest one. You see when we were in college, everything is easy. Of course if you are still a student you won't see the struggle. All you know is that a 7am class, a strict professor, cut short allowance, or maybe a thesis/research project could be the end of you life. But once you jump in to the "real world", you'll see the difference. That waking up for a 7am class and being late because you had sleep in between shower and drying your hair is much more better with being late for work and having you boss saw you late walking in and he scolds you plus the fact that your day salary will be deducted because of your tardiness. A group project is much much better with you maybe being annoyed with you groupmate because he only pays and you and half of your team don't sleep and in workplace you alone were the one to do all of those things in a much more professional level.
The in between: unemployment
From makati to alabang to provincial workplace, I had experienced going back and forth just for an interview for a job and for you not being unemployed for too long. After graduation, you didn't care about travels and going on vacation anymore because you are too scared of being left behind by those who had already in their own desks and being paid because of hardwork. But all of these I didn't mind. All of the struggles and all of the shoes I had wore on in walking back and forth to companies to take exams and being asked on what can you contribute to the company being a fresh graduate is hard but all the learnings is there. All of these things - you get to share with you co-unemployed friends and you get to rant together on how you were able to cope up and how you think you got the job but the next day the HR from the company didn't call you meaning that the friend you made during the last interview had been the one who got it. But it's okay. I think it's where I had find all the stories I have now and all the learnings in it as well.
The struggle: Time
My job requires me having late nights in going home, 6 days a week. This has require me to balance everything in which of course, balance is one of the toughest things in the world. I had missed friends gatherings, dinner with family. Whenever I go home I was the one to lock the gates because all of them were already asleep. What kind of a work do I have right? This is actually one of the things why I consider searching for better opportunities. I have less and less time for everything. Luckily, I have the most understanding people around me but its not everyday that you consider that they understand you. Sometimes you have to have time for them and I know I miss half of my life seeing another side of the world with another people. I promise next year to manage my time so well. I am working on this one I swear.
- From minding myself alone to having a special loved one and all of the in betweens
I am the typical girl who believes in fairytales and slow glances that we all see in movies. I am a very hopeless romantic person and I love cheesy stuffs. So when love comes to me unexpectedly, I was in kind of a shock. Everything had been so dreamy and I pretended that I am a character on a young adult novel as a protagonist. No I'm not saying I hadn't had found a prince charming and I ain't a princess. Of course I know I am his princess (dapat lang! haha) char so cheesy but not everything is like the movies or the books that we read and watch. My own fairytale came in as a reality. And I am happy that it came in that way - less expectations.
The in between: Shift
Of course the transition is there. I had been all by myself for how many years and then one person comes into your life suddenly somehow changes such things that you had been doing everyday. But that's how it goes. I had learned that you compromise because its not only you who does all the changes but also your someone. Everything must be fair and balance. You must be understanding and patient and of course you expect that person to do the same for you but its not like that everyday. We live in the real world and everything isn't according to whats in your hands or what you had planned. Everyday you must be ready to face it and you must learn from it, even the smallest and silliest fights.
The struggle: Environment and its people
It isn't you and your prince against the world. In reality there are so many persons you have to deal with and care for with. You have to know and consider there feelings and you have to have them understand yours as well. I don't know how to tell things on this part that much, to make it short and simple - you have to deal with the facts and follow what you feel. Let it all out and let yourself be heard. One thing I learned from being in the spirit of love is that you don't have to have your emotions rule you. You have to think first in everything. Think twice or thrice or you could over think it but not too much. Just think and don't let everything be govern by your feelings.
And all the in betweens are the ones we have to deal with, right? It's where we learn and discover a lot of things not only for ourselves but also with other people. I had been blessed this year, well I always am and I think we all are. We all have different things to thank for this year and we are lucky that we do have! Let us all take all our learnings with us and never forget to look back. Thank you for a very wonderful experience 2014! I won't expect grand for 2015 but I pray and hope for a positive outcome with right amount of everything. Let us all be happy! Cheers!
