2015 has been a roller coaster for me, in a good sense, though. This has been the year that I had learned the art of patience, letting go, getting out of the zone, and acceptance.
I have been patient all my life. I think there's never quite a time I haven't been patient with anything - I am a fan of waiting in all terms, I am vocal about this and this year I think my patience has been tested. The universe tried to challenge me - on what extent I can wait and how am I willing to undergo as I am waiting. And to be honest, it's a pretty damn hard obstacle. I may not quite feel it but I know I had been undergoing a rough time asking and questioning myself and capabilities. But I can happily say I survived and pass the test not forgetting that it isn't the end.
-- I get to wait for the perfect timing, the right moment and the right path. Minsan talaga dapat hindi nagpapadala sa bugso ng damdamin no?
It's been quite a rough journey for me letting go of things.. Especially of people. When I get attached, I am too attached and I get clingy. But 2015 has put me in crucial situations about choosing what to let go and what to keep. I think sometimes it's a matter of choosing and weighing things at hand. But sometimes letting go doesn't mean the end, as cliche as this may sound. Most of the time getting out and letting it all flow means being free and being able to let yourself grow.
-- Meeting new people and not leaving it at that. I think that's the most important thing.
This year, I had allow myself to get out of the zone and I am thankful I did. I am afraid jumping into the void most of the time, afraid of stepping out for a bit I might get too comfortable and let's admit that sometimes comfort is the safest area to stay at - walang sakit, walang hirap, lahat relak lang. But 2015 and the people who pushed me through let me go out and try the newest of things. Well, hindi ako nag all in sa getting out but I am happy I did and it helped me grow and know some things I didn't know about myself. Also, it helped me outgrow my fear of voicing myself at.
-- Thank you for a year of travel, exploring, and trying new things I haven't even imagine I will be doing.
And the last learning was acceptance. Usually, we associate the word for a hurtful event in our lives and in all honesty it really most of the time is. Accepting things because you can't undo it all, accepting what has been offered to you, accepting the truth about what people sees and you cannot please everyone, accepting what has been and what your could have beens will be just a could have been, and accepting to yourself that sometimes it is the one thing you need. Yes, it isn't easy especially if what you are accepting hurts you but sometimes, accepting doesn't mean defeat. I learned that the act of it is one of the most bravest and kindest thing to do. You are allowing yourself to admit things even though it hurts you. Acceptance is even greater if you associate it with a positive attitude ika nga, law of attraction lang yan dahil kung para sayo para sayo - you just have to try it out para wala kang what ifs.
Thank you, 2015. Thank you for a year full of learning, of endless memories, and fondly beginnings. This isn't the end of the journey I know and you are a year full of things I may not remember sooner of later but I will keep what you have taught me althroughout, may not be in my memory but in my heart. It's what's important right? You learn and never stopping and of course, never forgetting.
Cheers for a fruitful year and endless beginnings!!